Helen Fisher, PhD

“Let’s Play”

 Starting a relationship should be fun.  Fun is good for the mind and body.  And fun is good for love. Any kind of novel game is likely to drive up dopamine in the brain—the natural stimulant that can make you more susceptible to romance.  So we have decided to help you “get in the mood” with some games, Chemistry.starters.   

But these games have another purpose: as you play, you can learn important things about your gaming partner—as well as express core aspects of yourself.  This is important.  In the beginning of a relationship you know almost nothing about him or her.   So you tend to overweigh the few morsels of information you receive.   As a result, the “getting to know you process” is full of “breaking points,” moments that can take on heavy (and unrealistic) meanings and can send you flying out the door–alone.

So why not lighten up those first interactions with some ice breakers and a gaming spirit.  Psychologists report that the more you interact with someone, the more you tend to regard this individual as interesting, smart, good looking and similar to yourself.   The better you like them, too.    Moreover, if you can play well together now, you might still play well together 20 years from now–and lead a happier, healthier, longer life.  So we have decided to help you pole vault those early “breaking points.”  With these Chemistry.starters, you will pick up some interesting facts, ideas and points of view–as well as meet new people in a new way.   More important, hopefully you will find “the one.” 

But first, a few gaming tips:  Be playful–people are enchanted by those who are sportive.   Be funny whenever possible–this will lift your spirits and those of your gaming partner.  Be educated—to excite your partner’s mind.  Be considerate—to soothe their heart.   Brag a little—so they get to know some of your best qualities.  Do unexpected things, because novelty can trigger romance.  Be true to yourself—because your gaming partner wants to know who you really are.   And remember that words are tiny bombs that detonate in the brain to make deep impressions–so choose your words smartly.    Most important: make it a dialogue:  respond within 24 hours if possible, because courtship runs on messages.   These signals must be sent and returned—promptly. 

So, in the gaming spirit, I’d like to share my newest motto with you: “We’re here; we’re alive; let’s play.”  Please join us on Chemistry.starters.