Helen’s Blog

Big boys don’t cry.  It’s true.  Men are far less likely to shed tears than women in all countries where this has been surveyed, including the vastly different cultures of the United States, India, China and Japan.  And although men are often characterized as stunted, shallow, aloof, emotionally stingy or lacking compassion, men’s “emotional containment,” as scientist’s call […]Read More

Stalling?   Cold feet?   Why buy the cow if you’re already got the milk?  Many see a long engagement as an irritating lack of commitment—stemming from the natural hope to see relatives reproduce and spread their mutual DNA.  But the world will see a lot more long engagements.  In the old days, when marriage was a person’s passage to adulthood and […]Read More

Ever since I went to see the Beattles sing in Forest Hills, New York, with three college girlfriends (back in the Pleistocene), I have wondered why people get so worked up over celebrities.  Not because the Beattles arrived in a helicopter and sang to some 20,000 people.  But because one girlfriend fainted from exhilaration; the second peed […]Read More

Testosterone may be involved.  Testosterone levels rise in men when they win and plummet when they lose. And testosterone is linked with energy, motivation and sex.   So it’s possible that rising testosterone is fueling Republican men’s elevated dating activity; while plunging testosterone is reducing libido and the drive for romance among male Democrats.  Women are […]Read More

Have you ever wondered what people actually mean when they say “we’ve got chemistry.”  As I have said in previous blogs, there are many things that draw you to one person rather than another.  Timing is important.  If you’re not ready, you won’t notice a perfect partner, even if he or she is sitting on your lap.  We tend […]Read More

On a mountain top?  At a beach resort?  In your hometown with all your friends around? Women spend a lot of time planning their weddings.   This is acceptable.  But it has not been acceptable for a woman to pop the big question: “Will you marry me?”  Women often drop weighty little bombs, like: “Is this serious?”  “What are your plans?”  “Are we in […]Read More

January is the month of love.  Men and women pour onto the computer, seeking romance with someone who respects them and makes them laugh, someone whom they can confide in and whom they find physically attractive.  Why is January the busiest month in the search for love?   Well, the holidays certainly remind us of our single-hood.  Friends and […]Read More

The Washington Post recently proclaimed that “The US is in a Crisis of Love.”  Many Americans agree—currently regarding America’s singles as commitment-phobes who are retreating to their bedroom computers to duck romance and attachment.  Really?  I and my colleagues at Match wanted to see if this was true.  So in our 9th annual survey, known as Singles in America, we polled a representative sample […]Read More

Happy Easter, if you are Christian.  Happy spring weekend to the rest of you.  I have just returned from the jungle highlands of New Guinea where Christianity has taken hold among people who still sleep in thatched huts around an open fire, on leaves.  No pillows.  No blankets.  No stoves.  No electricity.  No running water.  No TVs or radios.  Almost no one wears shoes, […]Read More

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  Right?   Wrong!  I have come to believe that we must do onto others and they would have done unto them.   But who are they?   This week, with the publication of our article in the journal, PLoS One (link below), I and my colleagues have taking a step toward understanding ourselves—and our future.   I’m over […]Read More