Helen’s Blog

In a sexual encounter, men have more to gain and less to lose.  If they impregnate a woman by chance, they will have passed their DNA on to eternity, with very little effort.  Sex is regarded as a gift that women give men in many cultures.  In fact, in many societies, men give gifts to women who […]Read More

I don’t know how women feel in other cultures, particularly those where almost all men have beards.  (You might write in and tell me.)  But the American women I know don’t like facial hair on a man.  I’m among them.  Years ago, I had a boyfriend who loved his beard.  He looked fashionable, I suppose; but I looked like a […]Read More

I can’t think of a better place to meet the love of your life than in an airport.  You already have something important in common: you both like to explore.  You generally have a couple hours to get to know one another too, as well as something interesting (and self-revealing) to talk about: your destinations.  Moreover, the sparks […]Read More

Stop with the negativity, America.  Singles are sick of it.  Indeed, 51% of Match members have broken up with a pessimist.  They want a partner who smiles, is enthusiastic and thinks of the future, not the past.  And for good reason.  Negativity stresses the body and the mind.  We’re naturally drawn to positive people because when they smile, we automatically smile […]Read More

“Love at first sight is relatively easy to explain.  Romantic love runs along curtain electrical and chemical pathways through the brain. And these can be triggered instantly. Men fall in love faster, statistically speaking, probably because they are more visual.  But women aren’t far behind.  It’s a basic drive, like thirst and hunger.  Food and water keep you alive […]Read More

Marriage equality is human equality.  We are built to love—and these feelings are just as powerful in gays and lesbians as in heterosexuals.  I study the brain in love.  I and my colleagues have put over 100 men and women into a brain scanner, using functional magnetic resonance imaging.  And we have found some of the basic neural […]Read More

We’ve been together for 10 years and now it’s your 20th birthday.  Bravo.  So let’s tip a glass of bubbly together; reminisce about the past; and think about the future.   Foremost, you have transformed human courtship. Twenty years ago, Internet dating was perceived as something for, well, “someone else.”  Now, it’s the top way we find romance.  And your online daters […]Read More

Love at first sight is actually rather easy to explain.  I and my colleagues have now put dozens of men and women into a brain scanner (using fMRI) to map the brain pathways associated with this exotic passion, romantic love. And this electric, blissful feeling runs along a specific network that can be triggered instantly. Indeed, […]Read More

I have a friend who met her husband at a red light.  She was 15, in a car with a pile of girls.   He was in another car with a crowd of boys.  As the light turned green, they all decided to pull into a nearby park and party.   My friend spend the evening sitting on a picnic table […]Read More

“My beloved.  The delight of my eyes.”  So begins a love poem written by Inanna, Queen of Sumeria, and inscribed in cuneiform on a lump of clay more than four thousand years ago.  Poems, songs, stories, myths, legends, sculptures, paintings, temples, castles:  romantic love has inspired countless works of creativity.  Why does love trigger such a flood of inventiveness?  Now scientists […]Read More