Helen’s Blog

An anthropologist once asked a Kung Bushman living in a hunter/gatherer band in the grasslands of Botswana if he would marry a woman who was smarter than he was.  He replied, “Yes, because she’d make me smart too.”  Today 80% of singles say they “must have” or find it “very important” to have someone of the same […]Read More

Is “smart” sexy?  Singles think so.  Today some 80% of singles say they “must have” or find it “very important” to have someone of the same level of intelligence.   And 89% would make a commitment to someone who is “considerably” better educated or more intellectual than themselves.  Why do we want a smart partner?   Because intelligence comes with a […]Read More

“I don’t like money actually.  But it quiets my nerves,” said heavyweight boxer, Joe Louis.  We all like money, for many reasons.  But Singles today aren’t waiting for a fat wallet to win romance.  Indeed, when the 2012 Martch.com survey asked over 5,000 Singles in America, “In what ways has the current economic situation affected your dating habits,” 60% […]Read More

William and Kate have chemistry!  They are perfect for one another–from the biological perspective. They both appear to be Explorers — novelty seeking, curious, creative people naturally expressive of the dopamine system in the brain.  As William summed up their mutual outlook on life:  “I like space and freedom.”  Brother Harry agrees,  recently saying, “He’s a wild thing.”  From my […]Read More

I just ate a black and white cookie the size of a dinner plate.  But I’m finding it difficult to feel too guilty about it here in Las Vegas, where I have come to make a speech.  In the conference ballroom where I just spoke about love were some 300 therapists in the helping professions–eager to understand […]Read More

DO craft a clever username. Sure, you could be Bill1031…lots of people could. Instead, try for something catchier and more descriptive of your interests and outlook, such as BBQKing or MidwestSurfer. DO make those first few words of your headline count. On search pages, only the first four to six words or so of your headline will […]Read More

“I am more optimistic than most people.”  All members of Chemistry.com respond to this statement (and many others) when they join our site.   Many are optimistic, too.   But the highest percent of optimists live in 10 specific cities.  These men and women have several traits in common:  they are more likely to look on the bright side of any issue; […]Read More

We’ve been busting myths about women since the 1960s; it’s time we bust our myths about men.  Single in America, a 2011 national study of Singles based on the US census and conducted by Match.com (and myself), does this in spades.  This study clearly shows that men are just as eager to marry; 33% of both […]Read More

In a sexual encounter, men have more to gain and less to lose.  If they impregnate a woman by chance, they will have passed their DNA on to eternity, with very little effort.  Sex is regarded as a gift that women give men in many cultures.  In fact, in many societies, men give gifts to women who […]Read More

I don’t know how women feel in other cultures, particularly those where almost all men have beards.  (You might write in and tell me.)  But the American women I know don’t like facial hair on a man.  I’m among them.  Years ago, I had a boyfriend who loved his beard.  He looked fashionable, I suppose; but I looked like a […]Read More